I’ve aways had a tendency to “save the best for last”. Even as a kid, I used to leave my favourite part of the meal till the end, enduring the other boring or unpleasant bits till I could savour my delight. How on earth does a kid learn to do that? But I digress…..
As I grew up, this became behaviour that led to the best or special things “saved till a rainy day”.
So my special things were always packed away, and I lived on the seconds, with the idea of “that” rainy day always in the distant future. I’ve countless mementos from my travels boxed away. Prints laid flat waiting for a moment to be displayed. 21st birthday and wedding gifts boxed up.
This tendency permeated my thoughts, teasing me about when my “success” would come. When would “my day” finally arrive, the moment I’d finally “made it”, whatever “it” was.
But age has a way of poking and prodding my status quo and I’ve found myself increasingly reassessing my life not just each year, but almost every day.
I’m not the most adventurous of people. I’ve let many opportunities pass me by and sometimes I feel I’ve wasted many years. But a quote that keeps coming back to me lately is this:
“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count.
It’s the life in your years.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Every moment I feel a pang of regret, I try and remind myself of this quote. I may regret things I never did, being such an risk averse person. But I can make the choice every day, right now, in this moment, to ensure my biggest life regret isn’t wallowing in a life of regret. That would truly be a wasted life.
So I’m not saving “the best for last” anymore. I’m not waiting for that rainy day any more. I’m trying to live more in the moment and enjoy the now. This is the only time I am assured of.
I finally unwrapped that beautifully gifted china tea cup and saucer from my 21st that I’d left in its box for over 20 years. It goes really well with another favourite “now” indulgence of mine; T2 Creme Brulee tea.
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Linking with With Some Grace for FlogYoBlogFriday (FYBF).
Mixed Gems 
I am so like you. I always tried to save the best for last. Like the prized Hello Kitty eraser I received as a gift in second grade. It was so prized that I never used it. Guess what, I still have it and now it’s as hard as a rock! So point taken, we should enjoy our moments today instead of just saving the best for tomorrow.
Maria, your Hello Kitty story reminded me of numerous bits of stuff I kept in a box, like year’s old dusty potpourri with no fragrance any more, and old soap from probably 30 years ago! I finally ended up chucking the potpourri but still have the soap. At least I moved it to my soap drawer to be used now!
Oooh, Creme Brûlée tea sounds delish!
I am, by nature, a “save it for a rainy day” type. But then I met Mr Surfer who is the complete opposite and I’ve had to learn how to let go on things such as – him ruining my beautiful pots and pans by burning the bottoms, break all my wine glasses and ruin our “good” towels, using them to wipe the boy’s pee off the floor…*groan*
In an odd way, being married to him has taught me to just take things for what they today. At least these things have all been (ahem) used…
I am just picturing those scenarios in your place! Lol! It’s a fascinating exercise to see how much our partners change us. Mine’s quite different from me too. Things actually, well, other than the iGadgets, don’t fare much is his life. He could live off the same pair of shoes, handful of shirts, jeans and a couple of sweaters and be right. He doesn’t care for fancy. We could actually cut back a lot of unused clutter, if I could get him of his iGadgets! 😉
I love this! So glad your embracing life!
I had a dream the other night that the house was flooded and we lost everything, but the only thing that really bothered me was losing the photos and my writing.
Everything else could be replaced.
I am embracing enjoying the moment more these days. Often it only takes a small act to do it. having a coffee with a friend is a huge indulgence for me, but I love it when I do it.
Those tea cups are gorgeous too!
Thanks, Jess. I must say, my home burning down is a bit of a fear in the back of my mind. I wonder if that’s why I’ve never quite fully made any place a fully decorated home, apart from the fact we are renting. I look at My Big Nutshell and Life, Love and Hiccups homes and love how they are doing them up. It’s a silly fear. I think I need to dig further than just into my tea cup and saucer box and enjoy what I have! But aside from the enjoyment of things, I have to keep working on that attitude spreading to how I generally live my life. It takes a bit of effort after not living that way so long but awareness is always the first huge step in any change. Glad to hear you are making the most of moments too. They don’t always come back!
This is a wonderful reminder that there is no guarantee of when the “time is to use the good things”. When we are younger, we tend to think we can wait or put things aside. My post today on Ibot with Jess has been about the fact that life is NOT a dress rehearsal and it’s time to enjoy. Loved your analogy with the tea cup ..mixing the modern and the older.. Mr Lincoln knew what he was talking about … Denyse X
Thanks, Denyse. I really appreciate being reminded that life is not a dress rehearsal. Because the sun keeps rising every day and we’ve been around a while, it is so easy to get a bit complacent about that and then years later wonder where the time went. I am feeling that more and more, especially starting my family late, being an older mother and just getting older myself. I guess that’s where my post after this one, Carpe Diem, came from too. I don’t care if the reminders sound like broken records. I need and want them!
Such a lovely tea cup!! I love that quote and what you are trying to achieve now.. I used to keep all my pretty things in boxes too but now I’m slowly taking them out and actually using them. Not just putting them on display.
Do hope that you will be able to enjoy a sweet holiday with your hubby too.. or at least, a date every now and then. Actually, sometimes hubby and I take leave from work in the afternoon so that we can just go out alone while she is in sch. In that way we don’t have to spend extra time away from her during the night… might be something you want to consider since I know you will want to spend whatever free time after work with the girls.
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
It’s still a work in progress, Ai, but at least I feel the awareness is in my mind. I do hope that a holiday with hubby does feature sometime soon. It’s been so long, I worry if we’ll know what to do with ourselves though!
amen! This year, well, in the last couple of years, I’ve really learned that it is about doing it NOW, or at least making plans to do it sooner rather than later, and sticking to those plans. Life is to be lived. And the longer you wait for something, or to do something, the less likely you are to do it. That’s why we’re going to Melbourne and New Zealand this year. After 4.5 years of talking about it we’re finally just doing it!
I remember reading those posts about your trip. It’s so great you are doing it. I can tell it’s energised you and I hope you squeeze every last bit of enjoyment out of the planning and then the making of memories while you are there!
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I love this post, Veronica. Regret is a weird emotion. I wonder sometimes if it spurs me on as much as it brings me down. I love that you’re enjoying your best china. I used to always put my prized items of china/bowls/tablecloths and never use them. It occurred to me one day that what is the purpose of these things if we can’t enjoy them and USE them. I think this change happened when I visited a friend’s grandmother’s house once – she had every piece of furniture covered in plastic to ‘protect’ it. I wondered how more enjoyable those couches would be without the plastic. Was that really living? Totally changed how I viewed things.
Thanks, Deb. If we’ve got them, why not use them? And if we don’t need them, why do we live with the clutter of storing them? Interesting to think about. I know regret tends to immoblise and drag me down as a first reaction but I try to remind myself not to wallow. It’s no point wasting time in the past that way. I guess that’s partly where my Carpe Diem post came from too.
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