Tiredness is aging me

Tired Mom

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I feel this period of my life is aging me.

As I lie in bed woken once again by the bub who has gotten used to our small bed and to me holding her, I feel my tiredness. It’s so tangible. I feel it in every fibre of my being.

I didn’t expect to feel so aged by this phase of my life, this season of parenthood. But every day when I look in the mirror at the drawn, pale face staring back at me, I feel so much older.

Then I look at the beautiful face of my 3 year old as she brushes her teeth and flashes of my youth appear in my mind. Memories of the days with ruddy cheeks, plump pink lips and a carefree childhood. Memories also flood back of the moment I realised my mother had aged. It seemed instantaneous at the time, like it happened overnight. I am that same age now.

Youthfulness is bestowed liberally on the young, the young who so often want to grow up so fast. Don’t they realise they are adults for a very, very, very long time?

The baton of life gets passed on; full of the many days to come of crafting, painting and building dreams. I believe I still have time for some of my own dreams yet but I can’t stop the aging. I just wish I didn’t feel it so palpably, every day in my bones.

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Linking with With Some Grace for FlogYoBlogFriday (FYBF).

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11 thoughts on “Tiredness is aging me

  1. Oh, V. I hear you. I used to worry that parenting was ageing me…especially when I wasn’t that young to begin with when I started this gig! But Mr Surfer – forever the optimist – says that maybe it’s our kids that’ll keep us young. And to an extent, I think that’s true.
    When I see my parents with my boys I see how much more energy they have and how they’re eyes light up.
    You’ll get your sleep back one day and maybe things will be different, better even.

    • Mr Surfer is correct, Grace. I do believe the kids keep us young on a certain level. I just wish that youthful spirit, mind, heart would reinvigorate this tired, old body! 😛

  2. I feel like parenthood has aged me too. It’s funny but I just feel so uncool. I think I used to be cool hehehe. I wore cool clothes, went to trendy clubs. I am currently working on getting my cool back.

    I hope you get some sleep soon.
    Also can I just say that when I met you I thought you had the most perfect skin 🙂

    • Oh, Julia, I haven’t even contemplated the “uncool” aspect of parenthood lately. I think it’s just how tired and slow and sluggish my body feels. I need an overhaul! I started my parenthood journey late and often say to hubby that we skipped a generation as a result. I can only imagine how much of a challenge it will now be to attempt “cool” when my girls hit the teens!

  3. I have always thought that, too, that parenting aged people because parents were always tired. At least I feel older because I’m rarely properly rested. But I wouldn’t change it as I love my little one so much. 🙂

    • I think that’s the challenge, Maria. The physical tiredness make me feel so much older. Yet on another level, the boundless energy and new discoveries the little ones make does make me feel youthful too, well at least mentally and in spirit. Just wish the body would follow suit!

  4. I so hear you V. The massive bags under the eyes, the dry, wrinkly hands and face…and fatigue so deep at times, I feel like death will be the next time that I get the quality of sleep I need. It’s utter exhaustion. Perhaps by the time they go to school they will be sleeping from 8pm – 7pm and we will be able to sleep ourselves from 9pm – 6am? Reverse sime if this aging. That is my dream anyway. x

    • Yes, Lee, yes! I look at those perpetual grey bags under my eyes and sallow face too, and it confirms how I physically feel. I see you and Grace exercise and think that might help me (if I could ever get my act together). Please tell me it does!!! If we can start dreaming of good sleep from 9pm to 6am, then we’ll be doing it for real. Wouldn’t that be amazing! 😛

  5. Hi V
    I feel so old these days
    I wonder if I’d started having babies younger I’d feel better
    But really it’s all about the sleep ( or lack of it)

    • I agree with you, Ally. I think it is the tiredness that plays a huge part in feeling older. Starting babies younger….??? I really don’t know. Would I maybe have felt more aged before my time instead? Who knows now. Thanks for dropping by.

  6. Pingback: The battle between mindfulness and survival « Mixed Gems

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