Ramblings of a Mojo-less Blogger

Blank Canvas by Bonnie Tsang

{image credit}

Experts say that when you’re stuck for words, words are what you must write. Write, write, write, and you might just light a spark of inspiration. For all you science students out there, I guess it’s a little like capillary action. The first water droplet draws the next and the next and the next, and soon you have a flow. Now I’m actually dictating this into my iPhone, so I’m not sure the same rule applies.

Anyhoo, I ask myself, why am I struggling to write? I reckon if I knew the answer, I’d be writing heaps.

I think I partly thwarted myself. At the start of the year, I quietly told myself that I wanted to write with more intention. I thought that would be a good idea, a bit of a blog goal. But what ever does that really mean? Maybe that intention has become an obstacle instead.

I also believe, that I spent far too much time on blogging-related activities last year (writing, reading, commenting, Facebook, Twitter). I let lots of things slide, things my heart told me were important, but things I obviously did not prioritise.

This year I’ve intended to keep up with my personal journals and a record of my family life, a bit like the Project Life concept. Both have languished since I started blogging. I’ve yet to rectify that.

I’ve also chosen to make other mundane tasks, like paperwork, a more important priority. Last year, I ignored such annoyances, such as the registration of my baby’s birth, and only submitted it just after Christmas. She was almost 10 months old by then. How embarrassing to admit that!

Now I’m letting blogging-related activities slide, and the result is a similar feeling.

I dislike that feeling that comes with backlog and procrastination. It’s a staleness. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I’m trying to unshackle myself from “it”, and all that leads to “it”.

In the meantime, overwhelm feels like it’s locked-up my brain, and even though I know the cogs of my mind are turning. It just all feels like a white, hazy fog up there, a bit like a blank canvas, with nothing on it. 

But, with any blank canvas, there is the enormous potential for creativity. I just need to find my paints and paint brushes, and push perfectionism and the vague “shoulds” to the sidelines. Wish me luck!


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35 thoughts on “Ramblings of a Mojo-less Blogger

  1. It is hard to find a balance amongst it all some days. I thought about writing with more intention and purpose but then I decided that I barely write enough as it is so for now I will just look at getting words down and worry about what they say later. You should come over and look at making it matter. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely

    • Rhi, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, at least for me. I don’t write enough as it is to map out an entire plan and I know with work starting up soon, I won’t have time to write more so I should just focus on writing from my heart, instead of forcing anything, to let it flow. I do think about “making it matter” and whilst it’s now imprinted in my mind as a concept (that’s why I’m focusing more on non-blog stuff), I’m not sure I’ll have time to include it in my blog writing (when I get cranking again). We’ll see.

    • Thanks, Ai. By writing less at the moment, I guess I am giving myself a little break. I’ve got a few little ideas for individual posts and I think I should just finish them and get them out. Then I can see if I start a flow of some clarity!

    • Thanks, Sonia. An old friend always said to me that balance was just a mere point on a scale which really puts it in perspective, doesn’t it?! I think it is about the priorities for me and being honest about what counts and matters at the end of the day. So if it means more time away from the blog doing those things that matter, then so be it. And if I an write about what I discover, that’s bonus!

  2. I understand all of those feelings all to well, Veronica!
    This blogging thing may as well be a full time job – that has no pay bracket and doesn’t qualify for the Child Care Rebate and as such takes us away from our families.
    I hate feeling like there is somewhere else I need to be, or something else I need to be doing. Hate it. That feeling of being behind the eight ball in everything can be so debilitating, and almost turn it into a vicious cycle of being behind, but ignoring what you are behind in because it’s just too much to deal with.
    Much love and hugs – I haven’t figured out the balance yet, let me know if you do!

    • Thanks, Daisy. An old friend once told me that balance is a mere point on a scale, hard to keep aligned. It’s stuck in my head for years. I think what I need to keep working on is the best mix of priorities for me at any given point in time. I need to also be honest with myself when faced with options (funny how we think we can kid ourselves sometimes), and ask the hard question of what will matter in the end, writing a blog post or making memories for my children. I’m sure there’s a “right” way which is “right” for me, just as there will be a “right” way that’s “right” for you. I hope you find it too!

  3. I can relate to what you say – and would simply love to read about whatever you have in your mind – if you are exploring journaling and project life stuff let that flow in words here. How about a balance between intentional writing and writing just whatever flows – it’s all good!

    • Thanks, for the encouragement to mind/brain dump, Deb. I know I should. I edit myself so much! That’s why my week 3 Mission Statement is still partly done. In fact, it’s probably almost done. I just have to stop editing. It’s backlogged me on all the subsequent weeks!

  4. I know what you are talking about V. I feel the same. I am only writing when I can and the thing is I am finding that I have other important stuff to do that is the priority really and if I can fit blogging in, I will get to it. But I am not getting to it. I’ve enjoyed not spending so much time on the computer but I miss my blogging friends so I am still working on it. I’m looking at it like I am my own boss and I have to do what works for me and is at least cost emotionally to myself and my family. I reckon letting yourself free you’ll find stuff to write about from the other side of the fence maybe?

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Gemma and dropping by. I know you’ve been reprioritising for some time too. Your posts, though more infrequent, are really great. Maybe sometimes less is more. And as I am (finally!) replying to the comments on this old post, I find I’m reminding myself to be honest and not kid myself about what really counts in the end. I need to live with the consequences for myself and family and I know the long term benefit of investment in the most important priorities of my family matters most. Of course I need to put in a bit for me too but that needs to just go in where it can. Love what you’re doing with your home, by the way. It looks great! Wish I had the creativity to figure out what to do with my place!

  5. “With any blank canvas there is the enormous potential for creativity…” – so, so true. And its there inside, Veronica. The potential is so there.
    The one thing my bloggy break gave me was time to reprioritise. I’ve come back knowing how much I still love to write and share stories, but there’s this line in the sand that I’ve made where I’m very conscious of when I’m putting too much time on blogging/Twitter/Facebook and not enough time on the other stuff (ie updating my resume !). It’s going to be a trial and error thing.
    I know you’ll eventually find your balance. There’s no doubt there. x

    • Priorities….that’s what it is really about, Grace. It’s what we choose to invest our time in. It’s one thing to know it academically but another to live in from the heart. I think, for me, it’s about focusing and reminding myself to focus on the long-term, not just short-term gain. And, yes, I am convinced there will be a trial and error process, and that it will keep changing as priorities shift. But that’s okay. Nothing is ever totally static!

  6. I think we all understand this Veronica. Finding the balance is so incredibly hard, I guess it comes down to ‘what must you do?’ If you can answer that question honestly, and on all levels, then maybe you will get closer to finding the balance.

    • You are so right, Jess, about answering the question, “What must I do?” and to answer it honestly. It’s funny how we can try to kid ourselves into thinking something is or isn’t the way it is or should be…..like I’ll be able to buy that bag of Haigh’s Chocolate Freckles and resist eating the entire thing (yup, that was a huge fail!). I am increasingly convinced it’s about the art of juggling priorities and to accept that these will shift with time too.

  7. Oh I hear you. I find myself struggling for inspiration some days. Other times I’m overwhelmed with ideas – usually when I’m in the shower without pen and paper and I have to try to keep hold of my ideas for long enough to write them down.

    • It’s a common ailment of those who write, I guess. What I’ve started to do when an idea comes though, Marita, is to use the dictation feature on my iPhone and start dictating, often when I’m cooking or just before bed when I’m too tired to write. Seems to be helping me retain some ideas. Now, just to finish them!

    • Seems that so many of us do lament this struggle, Sonia. I wonder if it is a futile goal? Maybe it’s about seasons and going with the flow and going with the most important priorities in a given moment in time.

  8. It’s frustrating when the words don’t flow – but it happens to everyone. (I pinned a great letter from one of the Pixar animators about this on my ‘Words & Inspiration’ board on Pinterest – it was very encouraging!) I have taken a step back lately from all that is blogging. I still have so much to write, but I know it will come when it’s ready. Hope you find your creative spark again 🙂

    • You’re right, Kristyn. I did write a post. I guess the challenge is sustaining the writing. I think I have to stop feeling the need to try too hard and to stop, subconsciously, aiming for the “perfect” post. Just write.

  9. I so get what you’re saying. Last year i struggled with the loss of my bloggy mojo a whole lot and every time it was when I actually had things to say! So frustrating.
    It’s so easy to get overwhelmed in this blog land I’ve found. I hope you’re back to your bloggy good self soon!

  10. Its always hard when you give yourself new goals! It can hold you back for no other reason than your own pressures and expectations. Its good to want specific things for your blog (and the time you invest in it) but if it is something you enjoy doing don’t be so hard on yourself.
    Personally I always think that your writing is with intention and message 🙂

    • You are so right, Erin. We are our own worst enemies often and I do tend to put too high expectations and press myself for some vain idea of perfection. I’m constantly having to remind myself that good is good enough. I appreciate your encouragement about my writing.

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