I had a little something bubbling inside me this weekend. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It was a visceral, unconscious, automatic response that I could not shake.
Unrelated, at the time, I was also working on my value list.
Today, as I was pondering my emotions, thinking about weekend experiences and putting together a digital scrapbook of my focus themes and values for 2012, I had a revelation.
I’ve come across situations in the past and even lately where people are hurt, abused, bullied, belittled, ignored, written-off, shouted down, dissed, sometimes time and again by the same aggressors. I’ve lamented to MacMan how I don’t understand why some people behave that way. Again and again and again. One day he said to me, “That’s how it is. That’s how they are. Why are you so surprised by their behaviour every time? Why do you expect anything different?”
Time and again, MacMan’s words have echoed in my head. Today, I pondered them again. “If I know it won’t change, why do I still react so strongly?”
Today, I saw it all in the context of one of my core values – compassion.
In doing the values exercise, I understood, amongst other things, that it would help me with decision making. If you know your values, the path you take should align with them. What I did not expect, is that some values might be so ingrained that I don’t get to make a conscious decision.
I realise it is in my nature to try and give people a fair go, show empathy, be considerate to others, so I instinctively feel distressed when someone has been aggrieved. I just can’t stop myself. It’s even more disheartening if the aggresor(s) appear proud, feel justified or are indifferent towards the harm caused.
Why can’t we all be more respectful, considerate and understanding of others? We are all different. Everyone has a right to be heard. Everyone has a right to be who they are. Listen, hear, accept (though not necessarily always agree), and let differences aside, courteously, graciously. As a parent, I know this is the example I want to show to my children.
Being kind and considerate to others may not come naturally to everyone, but there’s nothing preventing any of us from choosing that path.
I’m linking with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBOT.