At the end of last year, and the beginning of this one, I gave myself permission to take the time I needed to work out where I wanted to go, what I wanted to achieve, who I wanted to become in 2012. I threw aside the pressures to have it all ready on the 1st of January and gave myself up to the end of the month, at the latest, to fully refine my focus and direction.
Getting it into gear hasn’t been easy though. I’ve stalled often, amidst post-holiday cleaning, family priorities and sheer lingering tiredness. Then I’ve rolled forward inch by inch, only to lose momentum again and stall. As I try to get things into gear and figure out how to get to my destination, I keep reminding myself that I don’t need to keep up with everyone else, that I mustn’t compare to what seems like the myriad of posts about goals, plans and resolutions of people who seem to already have it altogether, that I need to go at my pace, that it’s my life to live and noone else’s.
I know some people don’t do resolutions. Actually, I don’t either. What I am doing for 2012 is to focus on words* or themes to guide me. The primary drive behind everything is that I want to become a better version of myself, for me and ultimately my family. I don’t want to be the same person at the end of 2012 as I have been in the past. As my next
scary milestone birthday approaches all too quickly, I know I want to be able to proudly look back and say I’m not the same person as I was 7 years earlier. That change needs to start now.
I know things won’t necessarily snap into place overnight. What reassures me, like it never has before, is that there is no shame in missing my mark, in failing. I just have to pick myself up, wipe the dirt off my face and keep going. On the days when I want to call time out, rewind the clock, and beg for a do-over, I remind myself that the day was not wasted and I have tomorrow to try again.
Two things I hope to be involved in to help keep me on the straight and narrow are 52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life hosted by Deb from Home Life Simplified and 52 Weeks of Grateful hosted by Bron from Maxabella Loves. I’m already a little behind which is a great opportunity to practice what I’ve preached, brush the dirt off my face and work to catch up.
It’s all still a work in progress but I am determined to get there.
How have you found the first week of 2012? Do you feel pumped and energised and driven? Are you a little lost and feeling like a failure already? Or are you a person that just goes with the flow, whereever life takes you?
I’m linking with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBOT.