The Post that Morphed into a Vlog

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The Post

This post started a different life. It was born out of thoughts and feelings that had been bouncing about inside me for about two weeks. Then I started to notice a slew of blog posts along the same theme. These thoughts and feelings didn’t discriminate. They were written by relatively new bloggers and seasoned, long-term bloggers alike. They were essentially about needing to reassess priorities; about needing to find a blogging-life balance; about living our real lives as much as our blogging ones; about the fact that we can’t do it all, or at least not all at once – there just isn’t enough time. I decided it wasn’t worth writing my post anymore if all I really had to say, “DITTO”. It was more important that I actually start doing something about these feelings, to make the appropriate adjustments towards a middle-ground where I don’t leave my toddler and bub, as they grow up, with images of me connected to an i-gadget all the time.

In case you are interested though, I will leave you with links to some of these posts that I’ve read (I’m sure there are more I’ve not read), before moving on to my first vlog below. These posts, and associated comments, range from the thought-provoking to the practical, like Crash Test Mummy’s, and cover a range of angles to the issue. Enjoy.

Edenland – Anti-Social Media

Seven Cherubs – My Thoughts on Blogging

At The Bottom of the Garden – Mission Statement

Good Googs – The One Where the Chaos Manager Falters

Denyse Whelan – 3 Reasons Social Media Helps Me

Bright & Precious – Social Media: An Affair to Remember

Crash Test Mummy – {Crash Challenge} Beating Mother Guilt

Diary of a SAHM – How I feel When a Mum Blogs;   How I feel When a Daughter Blogs Part 1;   How I feel When a Daughter Blogs Part 2

Finding the Sunny Side Up – Is this real life? Is this just fantasy? (updated 12 October 2011)

Ninja Tales – IRL vs URL (updated 12 October 2011)

The Vlog

Welcome to my first (short) vlog. It was a toddler tantrum inspired vlog; a Toddler vs Parent: Battle of the Wills moment.

I had something to say but just didn’t have any free hands to write so I vlogged, where I was, in the car. It had felt like a “parent-fail” morning and I wondered whether I was alone in this or not.

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To coax, force, coerce, give in or give up, that is the question? I would love to hear your tactics, tips and tricks.

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Related Post

Feeling Random

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I’m linking with Glowless of Where’s My Glow’s for FlogYoBlog Friday (FYBF).

FYBF

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18 thoughts on “The Post that Morphed into a Vlog

  1. I viewed your vlog – I’m not expert, I have a 2 year old who hasn’t gotten to that stage yet where she’s insisting on wearing one type of clothes only. I guess you have 2 options: 1) Let her wear the t-shirt and if she complains she’s cold or gets sick, then the lesson you teach her is that’s what happens when you don’t dress warmly enough, or 2) Force her to wear the t-shirt because you’re the parent and you call the shots – if she doesn’t like it, too bad, and don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re doing what’s best for her. Again, I have no personal experience in this specific matter to know what would work for sure, so looking forward to seeing what others say.

    • Miss T is just over 2.5 years and has been this difficult for about two months. I can’t wait till summer kicks in then it won’t be an issue. Something else will take its place, I am sure. I’m leaning towards some of the advice below to come prepared but let her choose. I hate the idea of imposing my will on her but am still a bit torn understanding if I should call the shots because I am the parent. I know there are some issues that are non-negotiable but just not 100 percent convinced that this is one of them. It’s not like it’s anywhere close to freezing.

  2. First of all, wow – I had no idea that there were that many of us that wrote about social media/blogging all in one week! And I hadn’t read many of them – until yesterday and today – so thank you for compiling that list! But more seriously, I think we need to all take a step back from this blogging/social media machine. I know that the days where I’m constantly checking in with the gadgets are the days where I feel the most empty. Not a great feeling.

    Anyhow, moving on to your Vlog! Great to see/hear you! My approach to these things (and I’ve got a 3yo girl who does a similar thing) is the law of natural consequences. I find that the adversarial approach and the battle of wills doesn’t really do much for her learning about life or the human heart. (I believe it just teaches her that someone isn’t listening to her and that we’re trying to control her). I don’t believe I’m her boss, I’m her guide and I respect her. So our boundaries are set through authentic communication (in this case, acknowledging her desire, how it’s really important to her world that she wears what she wears) and then explaining the reasons why we’d prefer she’d wear something else, and then let natural consequences happen. Sometimes this involves a bit of intervention – for example, if we’re going to the park and she doesn’t want to wear a jumper, we say “if you don’t wear a jumper then we can’t go because we don’t want you to get sick”. It’s harder when you need to go to a place anyway and they still refuse. So, at those times we just let her get cold. We made the decision early on that it wasn’t a battle we wanted to fight (and she genuinely doesn’t feel the cold!).

    Okay, hope that wasn’t too much of a mouthful! Best of luck with your situation! Parenting is certainly a bumpy road! πŸ™‚ xxx

    • I know, stepping back is so important but easier said than done sometimes. This community is like my mothers group, as hubby said, so it’s natural on one hand that I’d want to check in.

      Glad you enjoyed meeting me through the vlog. I appreciate your take on this – law of natural consequences but respecting her too. We try to do that as much as possible but do exert control in certain areas such as crossing the road. I just don’t want to squash her spirit.

      I did resort to lollies and chocolate one morning and she agreed but this morning after asking for them, I told her she’d need to wear her pants and jacket and she decided she didn’t want them anymore. Lol.

      I must say I’ve found parenting as much a learning game for me as it is for her. And I’m only really still at the beginning!

  3. My daughter is exactly the same, she’s hot blooded, I’m cold blooded so I don’t understand it. I’ve tried and tried to get her to rug up, but clearly she just doesn’t need it. She doesn’t seem to get sick as a result, so I’ve stopped arguing with her. Mind you she’s 5 now. So I will usually pack a jumper / cardigan incase we are out and she gets cold, but she never needs it. I’ve accepted that we are different.
    I’ve too written a couple of blogs about the topics above, I think it’s this time of the year, everything catches up with us and life generally gets overwhelming. Last week I stopped everything I was doing because my daughter couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just sit and watch a movie with her, it was then that I realised I should because one day she won’t ask me anymore. Yesterday my blog was all ranty about being pulled in every direction, we have those days, but today is looking better, no work is a massive help in my home. You did a great job for your first ever vlog, I’ve not got the courage just yet.

    • I guess with parenting, it’s a case of learning to pick your battles. I do hate the idea of forcing her ie: exerting my wills over hers, unless it’s a safety thing. I just worry sometimes I’m letting her get away with too much. I guess it’s trial and error. And I know she’s not the only little kid who won’t rug up. I’ve seen them around and often wondered how they do it.

      As to the other topic, it must have been very confronting to have your daughter say that to you. I need to sit down and set my boundaries too. I’m not on all the time but often enough and I can sense that’s still too much. But I can feel it’s addictive pull so I think it’d going to be a bit hard. Instead of self-discipline to not be online, maybe I need to look at it differently – find the motivation to stay offline. I’ll see how I go this weekend. Thanks for weighing in on both topics, Mandy.

  4. Thanks for the shout out Veronica. As for the willfulness, I have a 3 1/2 year old who is currently running around naked rather than get dressed! I’m with Bright & Precious on this one. They need to learn that their decisions have consequences ie getting cold. Your vlog was great. I’m yet to do one.

    • Ha, ha. I’m just picturing your toddler taunting you with their nakedness as you type away……Thanks for your thoughts too, Laney. I’m leaning this way more now, remembering some of the earlier ideas I had about what mattered and what didn’t so much in relation to boundaries. There’s so much to learn about being a parent!

  5. Sorry Veronica, I have no answers 😦 I am just starting to enter the deep dark forest of toddlerdom with the twinlets.
    Don’t despair. I hope you reach some sort of resolution with your little girl somehow…and that she doesn’t get too cold in the meantime !

    • Thanks, Grace. The replies have been helpful. I think I’ll be a bit less firm about this battle. I must say I’ve not normally insisted in the past but some days…..then I wonder if she is getting the wrong messages because parenting is supposed to be all about consistency. Ah, well. I hope your boys are angels for you, because if not, you know what they say….double trouble! πŸ˜‰ (touching wood for you)

  6. You are so not alone. Miss A refuses to wear anything other than dresses. I can usually get a long sleeve t-shirt on underneath. After too many battles, choices and threats, I have decided to suggest but not enforce. Surely she will recognise if she is cold. I have taken Miss A to swimming in only her bathers (no shoes!!!) in July. I live in Victoria! Brrr.

    Like Mandy I take a jacket out with us, but she never needs it.

    I have also chosen to not see my inability to get her to dress (how I see as) appropriately as failure. I am seeing it as supporting her to be who she is and to learn from her own decisions.

    PS Great to see you and hear you.

    • Thanks for your thoughts, Lee. I like the idea of suggesting but not enforcing. I’ve done that but really started to wonder if I wasn’t being firm enough. But I hate her screaming as we put her jumper on, essentially, against her will. And it’s not a safety thing. Through winter, we managed to get her to wear long sleeve winglets under her t-shirts but that all changed about to months ago at the slightest sign of summer. Well, that sign went into deepest, darkest hiding after a week. I’m just waiting for summer to properly return then this will be a non-issue. But the lesson will still be learnt for both of us. I, too, want her to learn to be confident in her decision making. Just not sure if two-and-a-half is still bait young to get it.

  7. Finally saw this! Sorry it took so long.

    We have one who is very opinionated on her clothes, and will often refuse to wear something cause it’s ‘not pretty.’ Usually I put my foot down and make her. Choices don’t work for us either. It’s had, but sometimes you just have to be the bad guy 😦

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