Feeling Random

Random Day

I seem to have entered some warp zone. I’m feeling really random. Maybe a little lost even. Drowning? Overwhelmed?

I’m at a loss what to do with blogging. When I started, I had no idea how much time and energy would be required to make inroads into the community of bloggers. I had two main goals when I started. Aside from being a creative outlet, engaging and interacting was the other main reason I took the plunge. But I can’t keep up with blog reading. I can’t always keep up with Facebook or Twitter. In fact, I was feeling very much on the outer this past weekend. It bothered me for the first time.

I don’t quite know what to write about at the moment either. I’ve several partially done posts. What do I want to write? If it’s boring, I’d get no comments, no engagement. That defeats the purpose of my second aforementioned goal for blogging. So what do people like or want to read? But shouldn’t I really write for me? That would achieve my first goal of blogging. Hmmmmm, seems like my two main goals are at loggerheads.

I haven’t had time to read lots of blogs lately. I assume it’s a common blogger’s problem, if some tweets are anything to go by. But when I do read and feel inspired to comment. I put a lot of effort into it. Maybe too much. Hubby has always said I should be more succinct. Long, detailed comments take up a lot of time.

Time………..

Since blogging, I have felt an increasingly desperate shortage of time. I’ve let things slide. There’s paperwork about my bub I should have finished long ago but haven’t. There are medical receipts since last year I should’ve claimed, but haven’t. I’ve artwork from my toddler coming out of my ears that I need to do something about. I need more systems to keep this home in order; systems that are easy to follow for the other members of the family. But I haven’t found/made the time to establish anything workable.

I get the basics done – dishes, laundry, cooking and occasionally squeeze in an extra eg: baking cookies. I’m a fairly clean person but tidiness is something that I can let slide…….that is until I hit my threshold, then I morph into this crazy, frenzied woman that emits a force field of prickles and can usually not be stopped till the clutter’s gone which, I just realised, is usually when I stop feeling emotionally cluttered. So tonight, instead of getting the little ones to bed, I was still vacuuming at 8pm. I finally felt 7 weeks of dirt underfoot was enough. Boy I wish we had floorboards!

A few random ideas floated into my head this morning about getting some order. They came after a moment of realisation that I need to take control of my time and circumstances, and not let them take control of me. Otherwise I tend to live on a wing and a prayer, being swayed every which way. That sort of emotional living results in lots of chocolate medication which isn’t doing my physique, health or ongoing emotional wellbeing any good.

I need to direct my life according to my priorities and not by an endless to-do list of disparate tasks that I’m drowning under. Hmmmm……..sounds great, but will it work???

Well, at least I have my T2 tea to enjoy whilst I ponder where to next.

Are you in the driver’s seat of your life or are you being taken for a ride?

***************

I’m joining with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for iBOT.

I Blog on Tuesdays

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28 thoughts on “Feeling Random

  1. I think all of us feel this way at one time or another. I constantly see people dropping in and out, changing, redesigning, doing all sorts of things, giving up completely… That’s what made me start aligning, too. I had lots of unfinished posts that I never published, because what was the point? And I wanted to enjoy blogging again.

    I think to enjoy it you need to blog for you, but then if you don’t enjoy it when there is no engagement? There has to be a sweet spot somewhere, blogging for you and producing something valuable for others. Unfortunately not so easy to find.

  2. I’ve felt the same way – not enough time to follow others blogs that I want to follow, or to probably comment, or to catch up on Twitter and Facebook. I finally cut back on my writing (use to do it every day but that was stressful as I have limited time to write). I also do what I can, and if I can’t I don’t beat myself up too much as I know everyone is in the same boat. So write when you’re inspired to write, and if you’re not feeling inspired, then wait. 🙂

  3. Yep, been there. Totally understand.

    Firstly, listen to your husband. Long comments aren’t always necessary. Sometimes all people need to hear is, ‘that was funny, and I like your shoes,’ or something to that effect. At least they know that you have read, and appreciate the time you have taken to let them know you did.

    Secondly, memes can be the bloggers best friend or enemy. They re good fro traffic, but stressful if you reciprocate (which is, of course, only good manners.) I have cut back on the memes I participate in, and when I do join, I set myself a mimic on reading, usually 10-20% depending on how big it is. I know others limit themselves to 5. You need to do what is comfortable for you.

    And thirdly, write for you. If you’re trying to be what everyone wants, then you’re writing will br more forced, and not flow as easily. Be authentic to who you are, and you will find your niche.

    I know I dont read your posts as much as I like, but when I do, I always really enjoy them, and I always try to comment.
    And thanks for linking up each week, but if it gets too much, I understand and won’t be offended 🙂

    • Thanks, Jess. I appreciate your thoughts. Yeah, memes can be a double-edged sword. I rarely get through all the posts and find myself following the same people, when I run out of time so it’s made me think I should skim memes but stick to those bloggers I’ve been engaging with via Google Reader. Well, it’s one strategy I can try.

      I know I have to remain authentic in how I write. I need to put my finger on how best to easily express that. It comes and goes. Need to find my groove or “blojo” I think it’s called in our circles. Now if only had more of that illusive time…….

  4. I definitely hear you on this one. It is so hard to keep up with reading blogs, spreading bloggy love, twitter, facebook etc as well as managing a house and family. I dont know how some people do it. But as everyone about has said, you need to blog when you can, blog for yourself and enjoy reading others posts when you want to, not because there is a feeling of pressure that you have to.

    • Thanks for your thoughts, Chantel. You are right. Everyone is right. I know it to be true too. Gotta do this for me. That’s how I started my blogging journey. I may have just lost my way a little. Probably put too much pressure on myself as well. Let’s see how we go from here.

  5. Yes I know what you mean Veronica. I am at that point as well. I can’t read everyone’s posts and comment on everyone’s posts, and I like to think that people know that it can’t be achieved because really who can do that anyway? A couple of memes and one or two posts of your own might be enough. I am reducing my meme input because I like to comment and read the participants so at the moment I am just doing 2 or even 1 cause that is all i can commit to.

    • The blogging life can seem like a vortex. With all that can be done, one can feel swept up in it all. I must confess, I think it’s easier for “bigger” bloggers but then I remind myself that they have done the hard yards already. Few ever just make it with their first few posts. I guess that’s where keeping it real comes in.

      I like to comment too, when inspired to, but need to be more succinct. I like to read too because I am often inspired by other bloggers and I feed off that. I will just need a tighter strategy to manage it all.

      Thanks, Gemma.

  6. Totally hear you on this one! I have come to the conclusion that i cant keep up with reading blogs, twitter or facebook. Ive got a bit lost with my own blog lately. I dont get too many comments on most of my posts. When i do i ofcourse get a smile on my face and feel the love but when i dont get any well i wonder if im “doing it right” but ultimately no matter how many followers i have or how many comments i get. My blog is a record of our lives. The moments i can look back on and remember. I haven’t been doing enough of that lately.

    • Alongside all the great tools and ideas and memes and connections, it seems that managing it all is a real challenge for most of us but it feels to me a little like a dirty little secret to admit it (or maybe that’s just me). I suppose the fact is, we can’t have it all. It’s like the idea of women having it all in the context of work and family and career. I mentioned to Gemma from My Big Nutshell that the bloggy life can seem like a vortex. Maybe I need to get off the bullet train and just enjoy the leisurely, less-stressful ride on the steam train, or maybe the horse and carriage. ;-). Then I might find time, as you mention, to note those family moments i want to remember and then maybe the inspiration will flow again.

  7. This is going to sound very self-indulgent – but I very rarely write for anyone else but myself, or my friends – if I’ve ben joking with my bestie about something, it more often than not gets blogged, if there’s a running joke with a few other bloggers, it gets blogged. If I think it’s funny, it gets blogged. Generally, if I feel strongly enough about something (in either a good or bad way) to write about it, it gets published.
    I do have a lot of trouble getting around to comment, tweet and facebook. I try to set myself limits where I will open the first five posts on my dashboard, and try to read and comment on them during the day – or I join a meme and have given myself the stipulation that if I have nothing to say then I won’t say anything.
    The balance is hard – blogging is almost like a job. And with study, and kids and all the rest my housework is seriously suffering.
    Although, I gave myself an hour this afternoon to get the house spotless (except for my back log of washing) and I’ll be damned, it all got done!

    • Daisy, it doesn’t should too indulgent at all. I guess personal blogging, by it’s nature, is an indulgent activity. It is like a full-time job, which makes sense why many hope to get paid for it. I have wondered how I’ll keep it up if/when I go back to work. Thanks for sharing your thought processes behind what you do to manage it. I think it’s really helpful to understand how we all try to do it; making it real.

  8. It’s a full-time job, hey! If only we got paid for it!
    My only advice, if you want it, is to blog about what “you” would want to read about. Let it be what you want it to be – be unique! Then you will love what you do. And you don’t have to blog every day. Find a schedule that works for you and call them your “bloggy” days – time to blog, comment, tweet and Facebook. Follow a handful of your fave blogs and interact with them.
    I have to say, I generally go through this period during school holidays or long weekends when comments and traffic start to go down. I think we all start to question things. I have a blog post half written on this. Maybe it’s time to finish it.

    • Thanks, Kel. I’m feeling a bit more calm about it all. I’m still getting the interaction I was looking for when I started blogging so that helps and I am working out a schedule, or rather, it’s found me. I’d love to read that post when you finish it!

  9. I could have written this post hon, I feel exactly the same. I really enjoy blogging, for instance today I wrote a post of the sort that was the reason why I started a blog and it was easy and made me happy. Other days I am writing posts because I think I should because I should post daily or my stats will fall etc etc. Why am I stressing about stats? Not sure. And there is just no spare time lately. There are so many blogs I would like to read but I only can find to look at them now and then. I love the blogging community but have so little time to be a part of it, and I try and comment as much as I can but it’s a juggling act where I always seem to drop one ball or another xxx

    • This is all any of us can do, about stats… do not let them lead you… about commenting and finding time to read all the blogs, I only subscribe to those that feed my spirit….RaeDi

      • I tend to come back time and again to those that feed my spirit and inspire or resonate with me too. Though I do enjoy a good laugh at times too!

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kate. It seems to be an occupational hazard of blogging, unless it really is your full-time paid job. But I am getting around a bit and others are popping in here too so I’ve decided I’m okay with that. As long as I’m still getting some interaction.

  10. You will figure it out, for me I have times when I just cannot blog, I want to, but energy, pain and such get in the way at times, at other times I feel like I am not sure I want to share, then it all goes away and I am blogging again. Do it when you have time, and something that you really want to share, you’ll know if this is for you and you want to make the time. I love your blog and hope that when you want… you will continue posting, if not I will be here when you come back….RaeDi

    • Thanks, RaeDi. It’s funny; after I got that post of out the system and did my WW pic, I had sudden inspiration to work on a few new posts I’ll be putting up in due course. I guess writing that post must have helped move something along in me. Things in life work that way sometimes.

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