When I See Mums With Prams ~ A TTC Tale

Wandsworth Common by Herry Lawford

Image by H.Lawford

Once upon a time, I never noticed mums with prams. They were invisible to me.

Then I got married and wanted a family so we started trying.

Suddenly mums with prams materialised before my eyes. And they were everywhere.

When I saw mums with prams, I felt a sense of anticipation. “That could be me!”. So we kept trying.

And we tried and we tried and we tried.

Eventually, I changed. When I saw mums with prams, I felt sadness and painful longing. “Will it ever be me?”

Then I no longer wanted to see mums with prams. I’d look away or lower my head and avert my gaze. And still we kept trying, for what else was there to do?

And we tried and we tried and we tried.

Then, one day, after many, many days, it finally happened, and we didn’t need to try anymore.

Suddenly, all those mums with prams came back into focus. But they were no longer mums with mere prams. They were mums with Striders, McLarens, Mountain Buggies, Bugaboos. I learnt a whole new ‘language’ for prams.

My heart skipped along as I held my head high, and my belly grew and grew.

When I saw mums with prams, I felt a sense of renewed anticipation. “That’s going to be me!”.

Then, at the appointed time, our miracle child arrived. Finally, I became a mum, with a pram at the ready.

Now, when I see mums with prams, if I ever catch their eye, I imperceptibly nod with a knowing acknowledgement, that I am one of them. I’ve finally joined the club.
Was trying to conceive a simple or difficult thing for you? Did you have emotional triggers, for better or worse, on your path to conception?

I’ve joined Glowless from Where’s My Glow’s for FlogYoBlog Friday (FYBF). FYBF

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18 thoughts on “When I See Mums With Prams ~ A TTC Tale

  1. It took a year to fall with our first bubba and 8 months of trying and no luck yet for our second. It’s mentally exhausting but I know it will all be worth it in the end.
    As for the language of prams…. I LOVE MY PRAM! And I think it’s probably kinda sad to admit to that, or to admit to dreaming about owning the new Bugaboo Donkey, but what can I say? They are my addiction of choice. A good pram lets you get around, a great pram helps you get around!
    Dropping by from FYBF

    • Thanks for dropping by. It’s tough waiting for baby. We struggled for about 4 years to get #1 but were very blessed with #2. I hope you get your wish for #2 soon. As to prams, I have a first generation Bugaboo Bee but have never heard of the Donkey. Sounds fascinating!…..ok, just checked it out. That’d be handy if I could only get toddler into a pram in the first place!

  2. I can’t imagine the feeling of frustration at TTC for so long – I was lucky enough with both my girls to get pregnant easily. As for prams, I wouldn’t know a Bugaboo from a McLaren, just had the basic 4 wheeler with #1 and jogger with #2. It’s amazing now, almost as many decisions to make as buying a car!

    • I know I am one of the luckier ones. I did eventually have a baby, and a second after that. The heartbreak continues for many.

      I must say I initially tuned out about prams, but my hubby, the gadget man, loved researching the models, makes, features, etc. Eventually I had to go along for the ride since, he so aptly reminded me, that I would be the one using it most of the time! Well sold, hubby!

  3. I know what you mean – it only took us 6 months but still, I noticed every pram, every mum and ever newborn with a keen sense. But the thing I noticed when I was pregnant and would smile at the mums pushing their bubs, the mums didnt always smile back. Now I know THAT look only too well – the -oh-so-tired-wont-you-just-sleep-breastfeed properly look 🙂

  4. it’s so true isn’t it! you nitice the prams and newborns when you are thinking about having a bub. then whenever you are away from your bub you notice everyone else’s bub which makes you miss yours even more! also when you are pregnant it feels as though suddenly everyone arond you is too for the same reasons – you are just more in tune to it i guess.
    my two pregnancies came as a surprise both times – the first because we weren’t actively trying and the second cause it happened much quicker than i expected. i believe that they were just meant to be and happened exactly when they were supposed to 🙂

    • You’re right, I think we become more attuned to these symbols of motherhood. My toddler is in Childcare so when I go out with just the baby, and I see other mothers maybe with bub and one or more toddlers, I feel like saying I have another kid but she’s not with me at the moment. Don’t know why, but that’s just I how I feel.

  5. Hi Mixed Gems

    It’s funny how objects can symbolise, and remind us, of so much. For you, it’s the pram. For others, it’s something else.

    I just love seeing pregnant women all ’round. We’re so beautiful and we’re just an energy field of pure love and creation. I hope I’ll get to experience the privilege of being pregnant again one day.

    Congratulations on the birth of your child and your beautiful family.

    Found this post on FYBF.

    LIna

    • Thanks Lina. Different people have different triggers for things, don’t we? Seeing pregnant women was also difficult when we were TTC. It truly is a privilege to be able to bear a child and raise one. I can see you appreciate this in your blog of mother’s letters. I am grateful for both our girls, neither of whom we were sure we’d ever meet after initially trying for so long. Hopefully you will get your second child when you are ready.

  6. My youngest is nearly out of her pram, and now my sister is pregnant with her first. I have severe pram-envy over her beautiful, new Strider!!!
    I was so lucky to conceive easily, three times. I know how fortunate I was – I see so many of my friends struggling with infertility, and I feel guilty for conceiving without any hassle at all. However, I have been left with lifelong problems after being pregnant – and would not survive another pregnancy. The fact that I pine for a fourth baby is something I must keep to myself – I could never admit to a woman with no children that I desperately want a fourth. But, like her, I cannot have that baby. Not for love or money. I cannot believe I’m admitting this! But there you have it.

    • Pram envy! Haha! But I know it happens! We love our Bugaboo Bee and use it for #2. Toddler refuses to sit in it now. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. The pining is still real for you even though you have children. Each person’s experience is individual and you shouldn’t feel guilt. But I know it’s easier said than done. I have wondered if we should consider a 3rd (which is a little funny given we weren’t sure we’d ever even have one a few years back!). I’m not sure it’d be good on my body either or for the baby’s health, due to my age. In the end, I feel it essential to weigh up the benefits to our little family unit as it stands and am leaning towards the view it’s probably best for all to stick with the two we have. I say it like we have a choice, for the reality is, I’m not sure we could even have a 3rd anyway.

  7. Hi Veronica,
    I am very blessed in the fertility department – 6 weeks to conceive #1 and 3 weeks for #2… pretty much my hubby could sneeze & i’ll be pregnant… We only want two so our little family is complete.
    I have a pram fetish. I originally bought a Love n Care Adiva for #1, as she got older it was too big so i got a Maclaren Stroller (my Fav, I ❤ it!!!), then with #2 i got an iCandy Pear Tandem. It is wonderful but its big and heavy to push. feels like im pushing a truck, but good when i need to have both kids under control.

    • I wonder sometimes how easily I may have fallen pregnant if we’d started earlier. But one cannot turn back time…..

      As to prams, the buggers can be so expensive! We invested in a slightly more up-market version at the time but have not upgraded since. Decided against a tandem when #2 arrived because #1 didn’t want to be in the pram anymore. There is the odd occasion #1 needs it so I just carry or sling #2. We’ll have to see how that goes as #2 gets bigger. I still can’t see #1 getting back in though. She’d rather daddy carry her. 😀

  8. Interesting post. We are so grateful to have children, some conceived straight away, others after a few months and the last (me at age 44) was over a year, we thought this one may have never been and we are so grateful.
    Prams…..one Maclaren made the journey, 18 1/2 years and hundreds of miles. We did buy a cheap twin stroller for the twins (after placing them both in the little Maclaren for our first outings) and then needed the single again for next baby 21 months later. There’s so much more choice now and the prams all seem so large with huge wheels.

    • Thanks for reading. I do feel blessed every day when I look at my two girls whom I was never sure I’d meet. I know many are still hoping. I know others have let their dream go.

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